The Other Side
The opening track to the album No Shape by Perfume Genius, “Otherside,” is what I think heaven sounds like. It starts out with a really simple and sparse piano part, then Mike Hadreas begins to sing.
Even if your going
Let it find you
Even in hiding
Find it knows you
Rocking you to sleep
From the otherside
And then the magic happens. The music explodes into brilliant color and sound, like crystal shattering and splintering into a kaleidoscope of beauty. Then,
Tethered by timing
Let it undo
Aimless and ripped
From the root
Binds you
Rocking you to sleep
From the otherside
I read an interview with Hadreas on All Songs Considered where he broke down the album, song by song. Here’s what he had to say about “Otherside.”
"When we recorded this song we had the studio set up like a makeshift church. We arranged lines of chairs like pews and had each person sing seated, facing a microphone at the front of the room. Everyone in the studio sang, including some friends of the engineer that were nearby.
"Hymns have always sounded like sung spells to me. I never felt included in the magic of the God songs I heard growing up — I knew I was going to hell before anyone ever told me that I was. People found comfort in this all-knowing source, but I felt frightened and found out. I developed some weird and very dramatic complexes. It took me a long time to not think of the universe as a judgmental debit-credit system. I haven't completely shaken it, but I no longer think that I am overdrawn with God. Grace is not something you earn, its always there. I find this idea a lot more fun. I guess this song is a collection of little prayers that are helpful to me."
The sentence that stood out to me was that “grace is not something you earn, it’s always there.”
This is something that I know is true, but it’s often hard to believe. When I hear a song like “Otherside” I feel it in the core of my being. I’ve lost several people in my life, and I’ve almost lost myself, on more than one occasion. I’m not ready to go to the other side, but this song makes me hopeful that those who are there are experiencing the ultimate in paradise. I cannot earn my way there. I cannot run away from God or escape his grace. I don’t know if sleep happens in heaven, but if it does, I can imagine that music will rock me to sleep. Until then, I will accept that grace and find joy and peace here on earth, as hard as that is to do in the midst of all the individual and worldwide suffering. The crystal shatters time and time again, but it’s beautiful, magical, eternal.
Listen.
Listen with your eyes closed in a dark room. First, let the whispered lullaby rock you gently. Then, let the waves of music wash over you and shatter your soul, only to build it back up again. Finally, be whole.
Let the light in.
And if you’re out there thinking about whether or not to stay, hold on. There is still so much here for you. The world needs you.